_______________Only those who never gives up gets to see a miracle______

Sunday, May 17, 2009
5/17/2009 08:32:00 PM

Life sucks.

Everyone around me is having problems...

Funny thing huh. when i have no problems, people around me have problems. when i have problems, ppl around me have even bigger problems.

Sigh.

I really dunno what else i can do... what can i do to make you fall in love with me..

I've done nearly everything there is possible.. i really dunno what else i can do already...

I've always tried to be there for you whenever u need me. No matter how broke how tired how much my parents objected, i will always be there..

I know i cant move ur heart.. i cant make u fall fully in love with me yEa...
but i really really love u alot alot...

Sometimes i feel so close.. sometimes i feel so distant... really like a rollercoaster ride.
i dunno y it has to be you.. I've never been so concerned so crazy over any person..
I feel i'm not even myself anymore.

You say i'm a gd person.. but really.. nobody likes good guys. perhaps u are different. but i dont see the effect yet..

I really done everything i can tink of le.. i ask from frens for tips.. everything.. all can do 1 i've done le...

Everyone tells me to give up. say find another 1...
but.. i just dont give. i wont give up....

Ppl say I'm stupid, dumb, idiot, kum, noob, failure, throw guy face, look down on me. but i just dont fucking care. I'm already numb to all these.
No matter what ppl say, i just dont wanna give up. i dont wanna regret my entire life...
Even if i fail.. at least i've tried and trying my best.

I really really love u... yEs i do... no1 has made my heart beat this fast.. i've never dreamt of someone so often.. i've never thought of someone this much..

funny thing is, when ppl hear what i did, they all say "wow if a guy/girl does these to me, I'll be his/her bf/gf la!"

i dunno... wooing u is a rollercoaster ride... but i've never been really that close physically.. maybe bcos i dont dare to touch u & i dont wanna touch u before u are my gf too.

In the background, i would daresay mE & pEng are the closest to u le..
u 2 are the closest to me too. Infront of u guys, i feel safe talking about my secrets.

In front of other ppl... I am so far away.. i cannot even touch u..
Looking back... i never touched u much at all... that time help to massage ur painful palm & sometimes hold u lightly by the elbow to guide u.. that's all...

Seems sad huh.. haha.. but i should say i am contented ba... to reach that position is already very good given my own standard... i dont daresay about the future. the future is so uncertain. Everything will be so different. from the past 11mths with u, i've grown used to things happening non stop. 1 incident ends & the next 1 starts.

Now i worry so much about u omg... i really feel useless that i cant help u at all..
I also damn useless that i cant come up with a mere $3600... I'm really at my wits end...
Frens all siam me.. i cant ask much relatives also... i tink i may have to take a bank loan..

Ppl always ask me & occasionally i ask myself too.. y the fuck am i doing all this.. I really have no idea... I just want to solve ur problems by any means possible, even if it means creating problems for myself.
I do admit I'm having problems with my parents, my frens and my work.. but i just dont care.
Just to go out with u, to be with u, to solve ur problems, I can just fuck care everything i have. I just want u to be happy.. As long as u are happy.. even if u are not my gf... i will be happy too.
Should u like some other guy, i will help u wherever i can.. as long as u are happy...

Wo zhen de zhen de hen xi huan ni.....
could never find the chance to ask you be my gf....
I just wish u will nod ur head... or at least give some hints.. but i know that's not ur style....
It's ok. I'll always be there for you no matter what. If u need someone to talk to, to accompany, I'll always be there for u. Right there.

I LOVE YOU... I REALLY DO....

waiting for you