_______________Only those who never gives up gets to see a miracle_______
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Nubzz
This is my diary..
where I shall write about
my life, my days, my feelings
Click on the hearts for navigation
1st heart is the blog entries.
Enjoy
Every happy person has a sad day before
Every sad person has a happy day before
Every start has an end
Every end is a start
Thursday, July 16, 2009
7/16/2009 07:01:00 PM
Today is the opening of Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince...
Lucky me managed to date her today to go watch together.. tried to book on tuesday.. all the cinemas full sia.. lucky managed to find a nice 2-seat at GV Marina.. booked it immediately regardless of how broke i am...
Finally a chance to be with her solo.. it's been ages that i solo with her
Well.. u would say lucky.. but yesterday.. she went dbl o with meifang.. she's so stressed that she will definitely drink alot dance alot etc... sure knock out...
From that moment i saw her off into the taxi, I had this premonition that she will be not be able to make it for the movie.. But i had expected it... I'm nothing to her... the fact that she agreed to watch the movie with me instead of plain rejecting is already a miracle.
Well, tried to contact her but her phone was totally flat.. no battery... Only managed to contact her exactly at 3PM.. the start time of the show.. She had just reached home... Too exhausted & too late to come.. 23seconds. that was how long the call lasted.
This feeling of being "fang-fei-ji" really sucks man... but what to do.. she's tired.. I dont blame her.. I only blame myself.. blame myself for being useless, blame myself for wishful thinking that she would watch with me.
1st time I ever watched a movie alone.. nice experience.. staring at an empty seat next to me.
It's ok. My heart hurts.. but it's not that she doesn't want to come.. just that abit too late abit too tiring for her.. I'm used to being hurt all the time.. I've been hurt so many times that i tink it's normal.
I'm getting tired... I'm so broke that i dont even have $50 in my bank account.. all that wishful tinking.. all that fantasies of mine is just... crashing down infront of me..
Dunno... I cant feel that she loves me.. just maybe abit feeling..
Perhaps she is just looking for someone she can talk to.. express her true thoughts. One whom she can freely express herself to.. a very close fren..
But i just dont make the cut to be her boyfriend i guess.. I'm too short, too skinny, too light, too weak, too dumbb, not sweet, not adorable, too stupid.. everything bad nothing nice.
I cant even give her a sense of security...
My heart is dropping tears.. How long can i carry on? I have no idea... sometimes i just wish to MIA from everything...
waiting for you
ME
Name: Junwen
Bday: 25th Oct 1985
Age: 22
Horoscope: Scorpio
Sex: Male (Duh ._.)
Job: Network Engineer
Fav color: Blue!
FAv mUsIc: anything that's nice (prefer soothing music)
FAv FoOd: Peking Duck, Chilli, Lettuce w/ mayonnise, Brocolli, Root Beer, Kikapo Joy Juice, Mango Juice, Orange Juice
Bad Pts: Nerd, Stupid, small brain, Short, dumb, idiot, unsensitive, useless, wooden block, pessimistic, big mouth (more to come)
Gd Pts: For people to find out! But i tink dun have any la.
Characteristics: Talkative, always smiling, dunno directions, pro in sleeping at anywhere, blur
Wish List
Girlfriend
New watch
New Shoes
New Ext Harddisk
New Bag
Driving License
New earphones
New Specs & Contact Lenses
Black PSP
Swat 3:Elite Edition cd
Ipod Nano
Ipod Cover
Roller Blades
CCNA Cert
